It’s time for my annual, 'do I go against my husbands back or not', debate. He HATES it when I go to the tanning bed and I HATE it when I don’t.
He rules on the side of what science says for good health and aging. I rule on the side of safety.
I don’t want to be the reason for a ten car pileup caused by the glare radiating off my celestial white legs.
I don’t worry about cancer. I worry about earthquakes. What if I am lying naked in the tanning beds and we are hit with a 9 pointer on the Richter scale? I’m sure that I would feel a lot better in an emergency if I had my clothes on.
Sure if they pulled me out at least I’d be wearing a tan but that is not much comfort. This is not something I can talk to my husband about. I don’t want to give him more ammo to debate me with.
Every earthquake finds me in front of the television surfing the channels. I am happy to report that there have been no reports about naked people being pulled out of tanning beds. Proof positive that tanning is safe.
However, each year I still have that internal debate because I know that if anyone was going to be caught naked in the tanning bed it would be me but for the good of society, I bravely belly up to the bed anyway.
I have developed an emergency plan so I don’t have to worry about things like what would happen if the glass shattered, should I tan with my shoes on so I can make a quick escape and if it does happen which part would I cover with the tiny wash cloth they give me?
I lay my shoes upside down next to the bed within grabbing distance and systematically layer my clothes so I could get dressed quickly. My best tip is to lay the most important clothing at the bottom for the best chance of being glass free.
After all, there are only two things worse than being found naked in the tanning bed; being found naked before you've had your tan and being naked with a body full of glass that has to be pulled out by tweezers.
So remember, safety first. Follow my rules and you too can have a safe worry free tan.
4 comments:
Wow, you have really thought this thing through. One can never be too prepared when one is in such a vulnerabl state. Good job Jane!
It will be me causing the accidents due to the blinding white skin. At least you know it wasn't you.
all these things you mentioned really do take a back seat to skin cancer..(tee,hee)
I live in Alberta,.....just blend in with the white snow since we only get one day of summer....I just wear long pants that day.
I'm still giggling a bit at your rule setting (and breaking the husband rule-bit). That is some well-considered planning! *raises glass* here's to you not being caught naked & tanning in an earthquake!
Post a Comment