SHRIMP ARE PEOPLE TOO


NEWSFLASH! In 2011 they ran a new and I am sure vital government program. Scientists actually built tiny treadmills so we could learn that when shrimp get sick they don’t like to work out.

Who knew! Shrimp are people too. I don’t like running on a treadmill when I am sick either. Actually, I don’t even like running on one when I am well.

Those shrimp need representation. Not only did the government make the poor little dears run on tiny tread mills but they had to wear designer back packs for additional weight. Where is the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals when you need them?

If anyone had asked me what I thought the results of this study would be I could have given them an educated guess for much less than the $500,000. they spent.  I would have done it for something practical like a life time supply of pantyhose.

I must say I was actually excited when I first heard about these treadmilling shrimp. My first thought was that it was a proto type for bigger and better things. Michelle Obama's answer to Americas weight problem; make animals work off fat for you.

I could see cows and pigs across the nation, in designer workout duds, happily clomping on tread mills in their Nikes to get rid of body fat so I wouldn’t need to.

Guilt free but natural milk, butter, sausage and bacon. Goodbye fat pants and high cholesterol.

Of course that' too good to be true. I suppose the next best weight loss program will be to mush our way to the Antarctic and compete in the new, government sponsored, jello wrestling matches.

6 comments:

Rebecca said...

This sounds like something from one of those weird sci-fi movies on at 2:00 am when I used to have cable. Shrimp brutality. What is this world coming to?

What I'm curious about is how they made them run? Shrimp need water, and how many legs do they have? I'm wondering what a waterproof shrimp treadmill costs. And how did the researchers know the shrimp weren't just faking because they didn't like to exercise? Did they take their temperatures with mini cooking thermometers? I'm still trying to picture a shrimp with a backpack.

It's 1:14 am and I'm certain I'll come back later to find I've been hallucinating and this post was really about you walking on a treadmill after having shrimp for dinner.

Cindy M Hogan author of Watched said...

Hee Hee.

Heidi L. Murphy said...

I can just see it: "Honey!" you say brightly. "We got a grant to do the shrimp treadmill project! We can eat now!"
"Did they actually read the bid?"
"Obviously not. But who cares? We're back in bread!"
"Are they actually developing their own treadmill or are they borrowing ours?"
"I think they kicked it to committee."
"I'm amazed they got anything done at all."
"Well you know how long it takes to test a good shrimp. We must have some of the fittest shrimp on the block!"
"Well...uh...we did before I ate them for lunch."

wendy said...

I don't want my shrimp to get to thin....I like the Big ones for my shrimp cocktails and shishkabobs (or however you spell it)

Angie said...

That's so funny. I can just picture those little shrimp on their little treadmills. Our tax dollars at work.

Cindy M Hogan author of Watched said...

For some reason I couldn't get to your recent post Safety First from google reader. This is in response to that. I love you! You make my day. I need a dose of you everyday. So freaking funny.

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