SHRIMP ARE PEOPLE TOO
NEWSFLASH! In 2011 they ran a new and I am sure vital government program. Scientists actually built tiny treadmills so we could learn that when shrimp get sick they don’t like to work out.
Who knew! Shrimp are people too. I don’t like running on a treadmill when I am sick either. Actually, I don’t even like running on one when I am well.
Those shrimp need representation. Not only did the government make the poor little dears run on tiny tread mills but they had to wear designer back packs for additional weight. Where is the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals when you need them?
If anyone had asked me what I thought the results of this study would be I could have given them an educated guess for much less than the $500,000. they spent. I would have done it for something practical like a life time supply of pantyhose.
I must say I was actually excited when I first heard about these treadmilling shrimp. My first thought was that it was a proto type for bigger and better things. Michelle Obama's answer to Americas weight problem; make animals work off fat for you.
I could see cows and pigs across the nation, in designer workout duds, happily clomping on tread mills in their Nikes to get rid of body fat so I wouldn’t need to.
Guilt free but natural milk, butter, sausage and bacon. Goodbye fat pants and high cholesterol.
Of course that' too good to be true. I suppose the next best weight loss program will be to mush our way to the Antarctic and compete in the new, government sponsored, jello wrestling matches.