BEAR GRYLLS

I am a push button instamatic kind of girl and I like it that way. I live in a world of microwaves, flush toilets and fast food.
My kind of wilderness camping trip is somewhere I can set up an RV, bring my laptop and stroll down a rugged path where the pavement is sometimes bumpy and torn up but always leads to the beach.
Not once in my life have I ever yearned to throw myself from a plane into some unmapped piece of glacial wilderness, or alligator infested swamp with only the clothes on my back.
Perhaps the difference in our personalities is because my mother chose to name my Audrey Jane and not Bear Grylls. THANK YOU MOM!
Apparently, however, everyone in my family, including my grandchildren, think differently than me. They live a life of high adventure vicariously through their hero, Bear.
With Bear Grylls gracing our television set so many hours of the day, it has been impossible for me not to catch the odd episode. I must admit it can be addicting. After all, how many shows can you watch today and learn so many ways to survive with plain old everyday urine. Who knew you carried a built in canteen.
If I had known that peeing onto your shirt and wrapping it around your head was going to be so popular, I wouldn’t have worried about potty training my children I would have just tied their pants onto their heads.
I remember once my nephew went to the refrigerator to get a drink of juice and drank Grandpa’s urine sample. Instead of being appropriately grossed out, we should have applauded his survival instincts.
Rick is on a diet that requires a lot of protein. I don’t know why I worry about packing a lunch for him. I happen to know, there are plenty of spiders, fly’s and worms lurking somewhere behind his office.
I suppose I should be grateful, however. Maybe one day a tornado will actually hit the Pacific Northwest and Rick and I will be sucked into it’s eye, hurled through space and land in some forsaken piece of real estate.
Rick will know the right plants to eat, how to wear a snake around his neck and keep it fresh until we get hungry.
Not likely, but maybe I should go eat a worm and be prepared.

8 comments:

Bia Carvalho said...

Hi!!!
Thanks so much for your visit in my blog!
I´m already following you!

I have an english version of some of my entrances in that blog:
http://amormisterioesangueev.blogspot.com

Kisses

Gail said...

I have to say that I HATE Bear Grylls. Well not really but I strongly dislike him. My husband is obsessed with his show and seems to think that he needs to be dropped off in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado and then picked up a couple days later. And my son has watched it at time with him and now thinks it is okay to eat any kind of bug he can find. This is a great post.

Rebecca said...

Jane, I've read a couple of your posts and you make me laugh! Great blog!

We used to have cable and watched Bear, but I'd have to turn my head several times during the show. *shudder*

Jane Isfeld Still said...

I am SO glad I make you laugh. That makes my day. I think we feel the same Gail. :)
And Bia I am SO flattered thaat you translate my blog for your friends. Ya'll just made my day.

kbrebes said...

I've never seen it, but you still make me laugh!

Jordan said...

LOL. But you know he wasn't born with the name "Bear," right? His mother named him Edward Michael. I might choose to call myself Bear instead, too ;) .

Actually, when I met my husband, he went by "Kilt." The bishop announced we'd be meeting at "Kilt's house" for FHE and I was like "Who. Named. Their. Baby. Kilt?!?!?"

Duh. Nickname. (His real name is Ryan, and everyone calls him that now, 7 years later. But he did wear a kilt for our wedding.)

My fave thing about Bear Grylls: one time I caught him on a late night talk show, and the host asked him about how his wife felt about all the gross stuff he ate. Bear said he can never dislike anything his wife cooks last she ban him from the "marital bed," after eating some seriously weird and disgusting crap on television!

Jane Isfeld Still said...

LOL I do know it's a nickname but it makes for a better story. :)
GOOD for his wife.

Drew said...

I didn't know what Bear Grylls was until I remembered seeing it a day or so ago. I think my favorite is when he takes Will Ferrel out into the frozen tundra and they have to eat a deer head! So crazy. Anyways, enjoyed the post.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...