STYLIN'

The other day Garret strolled into the house from work. He was wearing jeans and a tee shirt that would have looked elegant on a pirate who had been wearing them at sea for two years.

He had a weeks worth of scruff on his face and his hair looked like it had gone through the wringer of the washing machine my grandmother used years ago to do our laundry.

My mother-in-law’s eyes boinged out as she gasped. “Did you go to work like that?”

He gave her the kind of dazzling smile that involved twinkling eyes, and was only achieved from dedicated tooth brushing and two years of orthodontics.

“He sounds like he’s wearing a three piece suit on the phone, mom.” I explained.

Garret ran downstairs with a 'hehehe'.

I gave up worrying about how Garret dressed long ago. I was just grateful he had grown out of two other stages. The first one was when he wore one pant leg tucked into his socks. He gave that up for wearing his pants shredded up to his knees and tied in bows.

Garret had just graduated with a degree in chemistry and was working towards his dream job, pharmaceutical sales.

All I can say is that if I hadn’t gotten the hint that he was unique before, the fact that his lifetime dream was to be a salesman clinched it. Who thinks like that?

Although he has never come right out and said it, I believe he considers himself to be the best salesman to walk the planet. The tip off was when I overheard him on his phone interview.

“If I work for your company I will be the best sales man that has ever walked on your floor?”

I always suspected that when God made Garret, he broke the mold. He is one of a kind and to underscore it he has been going by his middle name for two or three years now. Tell me, how many Isfeld Still’s do you know running around in the world.

Garret, or should I say Isfeld, took the job and from the moment he stepped onto the floor he was the number one sales man. After the first month, they asked him to stay home for a couple of weeks so they could catch up with all his sales. Now he’s a manager.

Yesterday he came home from work and made an announcement.

“Well, they have a new dress code at work.”

Mom and I looked at each other and I almost got excited. He was about to get his comeuppance. Maybe my dream of him ironing his clothes for church would come true after all.

Yup,” he said. “Some guy came into work today wearing scruffy jeans and tee shirt. The boss asked him what he was doing. ”

“Hah! You got everyone slumming it now. I clapped my fists together in glee.

Garret started to laugh. He is always laughing. It’s so annoying!

“The boss just looked at him and said. ‘Sell like Isfeld, dress like Isfeld.’”

Mom and I had to laugh too. Now there's something to aspire to.

3 comments:

Jenica said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Amen! The only time Garret dressed decent is when I would iron his clothes and pick them out for him. If he wanted to come to my church, I would raid his closet for something decent and make him wear it...Also, the goblin laugh. What is up with that? He knows that I get mad when he is always laughing at everything. Then he laughs even harder! Ugh...My one ounce of fortune for this whole story is that I met him after the whole shredded pants to the knee, tied in knots.

Anonymous said...

That is so funny. Only Garrett eh.

kbrebes said...

Yes. You are dead right. Those with Asperger's can be annoying!!! But, they are highly functional, highly intelligent, and highly unique! I'm sure I would LOVE Garret!

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