Dirty Little Secrets

I got a package a few days before Mothers Day. The box said Whole Foods.  I couldn’t wait to taste whatever was inside. The best part was that no one was home so I didn’t have to share. I ripped the box open and there, nestled inside, was a bag of dirt. I got dirt for Mother’s Day. The package said it was full of nutrients but I certainly wasn’t going to taste it.

Someone is really cleaning up in the dirt department. Selling small packages of dirt must be the new trend. I wonder how much my garden dirt would cost by the cup. 

Target was the first store to dig into the dirt profits. Half a cup of packaged dirt for three dollars. Is Whole Foods is trying to scoop them? When I first saw Target selling dirt I wondered, who on earth would be dumb enough to buy dirt. Now I know—my youngest son.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about getting dirt for Mother’s Day. It was embarrassing. It is hard to brag to your friends that you got dirt for Mother’s Day. Normally Mom’s get flowers in their dirt. 

Believe it or not there was a bright side to this whole story. Two days later the box I opened was full of succulents to plant inside the dirt.  However, I was left to wonder. WHY WOULD HE SEND DIRT! Does he not remember that I have seven gardens plots overflowing with dirt.  I could actually hike the 30 feet and dig up free dirt for the plants.

My son prides himself on his intelligence and his frugality. This is the boy who would not spend a dime on anything, not even new clothes, when he was growing up.  He wore his pants until they were shredded and then he would gather up the shreds and tie them up below his knees.  Now he’s throwing his money away to send dirt through the mail.

I hope you all had a wonderful Mothers Day with no dirty little secrets.