"How are you going to do that?" She asked. "You don't know my point of view."
I gave her my half smile and a look that says, "You foolish, foolish foolish girl. I am your mother, after all."
Kristjana is a standup comedian. She signed with Comedy Central last year but she has not decided how serious she is about this new venture. To her it is something she just likes to do for fun and to meet guys. She is secretive about her performances because she does not want us there, and I know why. She uses our family as fodder. Let's take a perfectly innocent, normal, real life situation and view it now from Kristjana's point of view.
THE SET UP
A few weeks ago I was looking and calling for Kristjana. I walked downstairs, knocked on the bathroom door then walked in. Kristjana had a towel wrapped around her and was just stepping out of the shower.
"Oh there you are, Kristjana. What are you doing?"
"Mother, I am having breakfast at a sidewalk cafe in Paris. What do you think I am doing?" I am getting out of the shower. When you walk, uninvited, into the bathroom and you see some one dripping wet, wrapped in a towel, stepping out of the shower, you should not have to ask them what they are doing."
If someone had waltzed in on me comedy would not be what flowed from my mouth. I knew that comedic material was just oozing out of her. I could just hear her on stage...
....In most families showering is a private affair. It takes place behind closed doors. The person taking the shower generally gets naked. They feel comfortable getting naked because this is the one place they don't expect visitors to come calling. Apparently this is news to my mother. Nothing is sacred to her. After all she saw me naked as a baby. She gave me my first bath. News flash mother. A few things have changed over the last 30 years. My mother walked in the bathroom the other day while I was dripping wet and obviously just stepping out of the shower. Does she apologize? Does she say excuse me, or even pretend that it was a mistake? Nope. She looks me square in the eye and asks, "what are you doing?" Apparently, someone dripping wet and naked is not a big enough hint for her.
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