HYPOCRITE

When my husband comes home from work or church, I don't think he would ever speak unless I asked him pointed questions about his day. He is so lucky to be married to me. If I didn’t talk to him, his voice box would become squeaky from lack of use. When he does speak however, it is often like an epistle.
Last Saturday when I went to work at his office, the keys he hides so I can open the doors I need to open, were not where they were supposed to be. Apparently, Garret had taken them and they had not been replaced, so the following Saturday, when I could not find the keys, naturally I supposed they were still missing.
It was just after eight and I called Rick at home. He was still in bed and not happy that I had not found the keys that he had just put back in the hiding place.
Saturday evening just as we were about to go to sleep Rick decided to deliver this communiqué.
“Jane why is it that you always wake me up every Saturday that I actually have a chance to sleep in. Wouldn’t it have been easier for you to get a chair and climb up to check to see if the keys are where they are supposed to be instead of calling me?”
He had to be kidding.
“I drug a stool clear down the hall last week and almost fell on my head looking for keys that were not there, so of course when I couldn't feel them, I thought they were still missing. Why do you have to shove them so far back that I can’t reach them without some death defying acrobatics’?”
Rick grunted and continued to exercise his vocals.
I’m just saying it would have been easier for you to look a little harder so you didn’t have to wake me up. Did you see where they are so this doesn’t happen again?”
“Yeah, whatever, hon. I got it memorized.” I laughed and turned over and went to sleep.
The next morning the alarm blared for my husband who had to go to a 5:30 meeting.
When I have to get up early, I have the decency to wake up before the alarm and turn it off so that Rick doesn’t even know I am getting up. Do I ever gripe and complain? NO. I am a saint!
He gets up and I go back to sleep or at least that is my intent but no he is working his gums again, giving me directions for the day.
He couldn’t have included this in his little missive last night about me waking him up on a day he could sleep in.
“Honey, did it occur to you that you are waking me up on a day that I could be sleeping in? Are you trying to get even with me?”
He actually laughed. Suddenly it was hilarious when it was happening to me.
“Janie, you are going to be teaching Seminary now, you have to practice getting up at 5:30.”
The man is a hypocrite. That is all I have to say