BLONDE-BLONDE-BLONDE

My life is always one adventure after another. I can’t go anywhere without creating havoc.
Several years ago, when network marketing was a huge phase of my life, I took my daughter Ariana with me to meet a business associate and exchange product.
We met Chris at a carwash and traded merchandise. As we were leaving, he reached over, patted Ariana’s head and smiled.
“I’ll bet it’s always an adventure with your mom isn’t it? She is so funny.”
Ariana smiled. When we got back into the car, she looked at me.
“Mom, why do people think you are so funny?”
“I have no idea. I think he was just being friendly.”
I put the car in gear pulled ahead and got high centered over the median. My wheels were spinning and I wasn’t going anywhere. I couldn’t believe I did that right after what Chris had said. It was his fault. He jinxed me.
“Ariana, run flag Chris down before he takes off.”
“Mom, I am not going to chase down some guy I don’t know. Besides I don’t even know what his car looks like.”
“ARRG.”
I leaped out of the car, ran through the car wash and managed to grab Chris and get him to help. When he saw the car he looked at Ariana.
“Another adventure, right?”
They both laughed the entire time he jacked up my car and maneuvered it off the median.
Today Rick and I went down to pick out my new glasses. It sounds so innocent.
Rick slouched in the only other chair in the room, with no pretense of interest what-so-ever on his face.
I picked a few glasses off the rack and paraded them on over my eyes. Rick didn’t change his expression as he shook his head. A tip to the left meant okay and a nod meant yes.
Rick is very careful about conserving the amount of words he speaks each day. I don’t know what he’s saving them for but one day I know he is going to say something brilliant.
Finally, I found a pair I could live with and reached for my old glasses. Where were they; I know for a fact I set them on the table with the ones I had just tried on. I looked at Rick for help. He inclined his head towards the glasses on the wall.
I couldn’t be that dumb, could I? Rick was conserving energy for the walk to the car so he remained seated while I searched the walls for a pair of glasses with no price tag on them.
They were not on the wall. I got on my hands and knees and looked under the table.
“Look, there they are.” The sales girl pointed to the wall. I followed her finger to a pair of glasses perched crookedly on a peg.
Finally, Rick smiled, shook his head and spoke those profound words I knew would one day come from his mouth. “I can’t believe you left your glasses on the wall.”