BLATHER

I was insane! How had I gotten myself into this predicament? I was about to appear on KATU channel 2 and I had absolutely nothing to say. I was tempted to run and leave the hosts sitting there on live TV with only my book to fill the 6-7 minute segment. The thought actually made me laugh.
What would they do? Freak out; like I was doing? They could make things up about me and my book. They would probably do a better job without me.
What made this so sad is that I had actually sent them the questions or talking points, to ask me. Naturally, they would expect me to be able to answer my own questions, and with humor. I didn’t feel very funny at the moment.
It’s not that I was afraid to make an appearance. I love to speak but not when my mind was wiped clean of all intelligent thought.
I needed short quips, funny answers. I needed a miracle. I had nothing except longwinded stories and...I was on.
I began my blathering. I felt like a tape recorder with the play button on fast forward.
Were my host’s eyes glazing over? Was that a mercy laugh?
“Can someone please show her out now?”
I had blown it! They couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. I felt surprisingly light. How bad could it be, really?
I took comfort in the thought that I had lived true to my philosophy. Say yes, try your best and if you fail, laugh at yourself and try again. After all, isn't that what Mother's Daze is all about?
OK, it's not always easy to see the humor right away but it’s not like the bottom fell out of the stock market or something tragic like that.
It was only a little show that the entire Pacific Northwest and all the world could bring up on the internet in a matter of seconds, after all.
When I got rich and famous, as I surely will be by next week, is someone going to flaunt the segment on world news tonight like a compromising photo?
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