Ariana wanted to have a dance and we had decided to empty the living room and dining room and have the dance there and set tables outside to eat. I had gone over the plan with Rick several times and everything was settled—at least in my mind. Last night, again, I broached the subject of moving the furniture.
“You know Hon,” Rick said. “I don’t think I want to have people dancing on the hard wood floor. And you know, I don’t think we can move that couch anywhere. Remember, it was so big we had to put it into the house before they put the front doors in?”
“Are you kidding me?” I sat straight up in bed. “I have been telling you for weeks what the plan was and you were in total agreement. Now you are changing your mind? You couldn’t have mentioned this before?”
Rick started to laugh. Apparently my frantic voice amused him.. “Jane, we have the whole week. What are you worried about. Just change your plans. I think we should have the dance outside.”
“Rick, stop it. You are going to make me cry. I have everything set. You liked the idea of moving the furniture and having a dance in the living room.”
“Well,” he said. I did like the idea then. I just don’t like it now. Why can’t you be a little flexible? Why does it have to be your way?”
OK, now I was ready to explode, especially because he was laughing. He has no sensitivity. “Rick, I could have been flexible any time this past two months when I sat you down and told you we needed to think things out. Your eyes glazed over and you told me it all sounded good. You pick NOW to become Mr. Wedding Planner? I am not changing my plans at this late date. We need to discuss moving the couches and the foosball game.”
“We are not going to move the foosball table. It’s too hard to take off the handles. I’m not doing it.
“Honey, we talked about it. I don’t want people playing foosball at the reception. Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way before now?”
“I just didn’t get inspiration until now. I think we should have the dance outside. And no one will play foosball if we put the balls up.”
And so it went. All my plans, and preparations, altered. Rick thought it was funny and that I was over reacting. I actually wanted to have the dance outside but I can’t let him be right. I have invested hours of planning and worrying and he has done nothing. It can’t be that easy.
Besides, I cannot live the rest of my life with him ignoring me then thinking he can jump in and change my plans at the last minute. Wait a minute—that is exactly how we have spent our entire marriage.